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Intense silver linings
Aug. 23rd, 2022 04:23 pmWhen I was younger, I listened to loud rock music in a language I could barely understand because virtually nothing else could stop me from thinking. Truthfully, my music tastes and all knowledge thereof atrophied in around 2009. I still listen to the same loud rock music I did up till my late twenties and occasionally music filters in from my surroundings, but if you asked me who the young people listen to these days, if I barely knew the answer to that in 2009, then I know nothing today. I barely know what the people I listened to back then released in the past 13 years as I'm that out of touch.
My world since 13 years ago has been largely like that. I live in a pleasant box where I can think as much as i want and learn as much as I want. For the first time, I could have silence and not drown out the disquiet just to feel nice. I have a warm, fuzzy cat and a person who treasures me so much every day is surreal. Everything else is an outside place. Sometimes, I have to talk to it, but really I don't have any desire to. This is what makes me a terrible friend, by the way. I realise I have a habit of disappearing on people all of a sudden and kind of show up later? Luckily, the few people who can tolerate it aren't too mad at me, so I'm grateful.
This is my roundabout way of explaining how I somehow got a wee book called Finches published last year and this year, it got nominated for a World Fantasy Award. And why such a surreal event in my already surreal daily life took so long for me to discuss, because I'm not sure I fully understand how this feels yet. This is an award I remember seeing on other people's book covers for as long as I remember. It's always been an abstract concept, like a Hugo or a Nebula. Thinking I could even get a stab at an award was always so far away it didn't seem realistic to aim for. So my primary emotion right now is nervousness. A hell of a lot of nervousness. I'm showing up in New Orleans for the World Fantasy Convention 2022 as a nominee. There's a reasonably moderate chance I'll be joining a group autograph session, meet interesting people in the same industry and have to talk about my writing. Me? Really?
My two goals right now for New Orleans is to eat at least one biegnet every day and tour Lafayette Cemetery. I'm bringing along the husband for moral support. Will anyone else I know be going? What do people do at these things? I haven't been back to New Orleans for 30 years, so it's practically a new place that gave me a lifelong love of southern food and vague memories about Mardi Gras.
My world since 13 years ago has been largely like that. I live in a pleasant box where I can think as much as i want and learn as much as I want. For the first time, I could have silence and not drown out the disquiet just to feel nice. I have a warm, fuzzy cat and a person who treasures me so much every day is surreal. Everything else is an outside place. Sometimes, I have to talk to it, but really I don't have any desire to. This is what makes me a terrible friend, by the way. I realise I have a habit of disappearing on people all of a sudden and kind of show up later? Luckily, the few people who can tolerate it aren't too mad at me, so I'm grateful.
This is my roundabout way of explaining how I somehow got a wee book called Finches published last year and this year, it got nominated for a World Fantasy Award. And why such a surreal event in my already surreal daily life took so long for me to discuss, because I'm not sure I fully understand how this feels yet. This is an award I remember seeing on other people's book covers for as long as I remember. It's always been an abstract concept, like a Hugo or a Nebula. Thinking I could even get a stab at an award was always so far away it didn't seem realistic to aim for. So my primary emotion right now is nervousness. A hell of a lot of nervousness. I'm showing up in New Orleans for the World Fantasy Convention 2022 as a nominee. There's a reasonably moderate chance I'll be joining a group autograph session, meet interesting people in the same industry and have to talk about my writing. Me? Really?
My two goals right now for New Orleans is to eat at least one biegnet every day and tour Lafayette Cemetery. I'm bringing along the husband for moral support. Will anyone else I know be going? What do people do at these things? I haven't been back to New Orleans for 30 years, so it's practically a new place that gave me a lifelong love of southern food and vague memories about Mardi Gras.
