Hi I understand how you feel.
I actually bumped into this page of your blog a couple of months ago whilst googling for a research paper on the Malay dilemma (mostly on NPE and the likes).
I'm Malay and officially Muslim but agnostic in reality and a coconut at heart. Thus I was pleasantly surprised to come upon your blog as I have never met any freethinking Malays (though i know quite a few liberal ones).
Since I entered a private local (but highly affiliated with the government) university this year, many curious people have asked me if I was Malay and what not - probably because my English is pretty good, I don't wear the tudung, I like to read, I don't hang around with the other Malay girls, I wear shorts and I occasionally indulge in crude jokes only people who are truly comfortable with their horny-ness would understand. I thought look quite Malay to me.
By the way my parents are super liberal to the ordinary Malay but they still consider themselves as Muslims - basically they wouldnt allow me eat pork.
I love Malaysia but I seriously share your worries about the future.
PS: I don't get the binti thing either

--Mar